Just Like That!
It was a pretty good day until...
Most of us can probably relate to the statement above referencing when everything seems to be going well... and then trouble arises. It happens “Just Like That”, no warning or precursor to how your life is about to be turned upside down. While I’ve had several of these moments, my most recent was December 2019. I was casually looking at my social media (FB) and discovered that someone I was connected to was killed in a tragic car accident. It felt like a ton of bricks fell on my heart. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she was really gone. I was in shock. As the tears began to flow, I started to wonder if she really knew how I felt about her.
She didn’t live in my state. We weren’t best buds, but there was a mutual respect for the “call’ on both our lives. She was a very kind person... with an infectious personality. We never talked on the phone, but somehow when we saw each other it felt natural. The last two years, she traveled to Florida to attend my Ablaze Conference... no special reason, just decided that she was coming to support me. I don’t think she knew how much this intentional act would touch the depths of my heart. Sadly, I never got the chance to tell her.
My professional and educational counseling background helped me to realize that her unexpected death was Traumatic. According to the American Psychological Association, traumatic events can result in serious stress and detrimental consequences for survivors who are women and their families. This does not mean that men are exempt from trauma. However, according to research, traumatic events affect women differently. Reportedly, the majority of individuals will be able to absorb the trauma over time, but many survivors will experience long-term problems. Some of these long-term problems include, but are not limited to nightmares, insomnia, inability to communicate effectively, difficulty with relationships, fear, anxiety, anger, shame, aggression, suicidal behaviors, loss of trust and isolation. Thankfully, I am not personally experiencing any of the problems listed above... but I’m sure there are many that are.
I once heard a Pastor tell someone who had lost her mother a couple months prior, that she had grieved long enough. We all process trauma differently. There is no one size fits all. We must respect the journey to become whole and healed after a traumatic experience. With this experience, the healing journey has prompted me to be a little more intentional about my relationships. I’ve vowed to purposefully embrace those life moments... and share my “heart thoughts” with those who are dear to me.
We don’t have to pretend to be okay. Yes... God is here to help us through. Yes... He wants to heal us, everywhere we hurt. ...And yes, it is okay to get mental health support. You decide what you need.